Okay so I'm kinda seeing this new guy that i met through some of my friends. Hes really chill, but we were talking the other day and we had a conversation that i have had with EVERY OTHER GUY I HAVE DATED. He made a comment about how it seems like i only hang out with guys, which is kinda the truth.. i have a few girlfriends that i "mingle" with but just 1 that i would actually hang out with one on one. well he started talking about how it was hard to see me talking to other guys and not wonder if i am involved with them too, or wonder if they're trying to spit game at me. Especially when i go places and he doesn't, he knows im going to be with all/mostly guys. I had to explain to him that he had nothing to worry about.
         You see, these boys that i hang out with are the closest thing i have to girl friends, yea they might slap my ass, or make sexual innuendos towards me, but girls do that sort of thing all time to each other. He didn't seem so sure about things and asked if i had ever cheated on a guy before. Well, I couldnt just lie to him, so i told him the truth... which is no. No I have never ever ever cheated on a guy in my life before, and honestly it will never happen. And then I looked at him and i told him that there are two things he needs to remember when he starts to feel like maybe i would do something like that, and if he couldn't handle that then he needs to let me know sooner than later.
         The first thing i told him is that he needs to be confident enough in himself to know that he can provide me with everything I want. Because quite frankly, I'm sick of dating guys who think im "too good for them" I want a guy around that knows that he deserves the best. And then i told him, that if all else fails he needs to know this; I respect myself. I respect myself so much that I would never cheat on a guy. And its not because I think its a trashy thing to do (which i do). And its not because i dont want others to think less of me, but its because, if you cant keep me happy and satisfied, then what the hell am I wasting my time with you for!?
         At this point he kinda laughed, but i just hope that he didnt think i was coming off cocky, i just wanted him to understand that even though I may hang out with guys, and i may stroke their ego every now and then, its not them that pops into my mind through out the day, and its not them that i check for when i recieve a txt. I hope that he realizes that yea, they're my closest friends, but hes the one im dating.

So what ever was going on w/ alex i think is over. I actually suspect now that he was possibly cheating on his gf w/ me while she was away on winter vacation..fuck'd. up. I may be a lot of things.. but homewrecker/boyfriend-stealer is not one of them, so u can imagine my dissapointment when i found out that the 1 guy who was totally respectful and sweet without being overly into me actually has a girlfriend OF TWO YEARS! not ok.

So i started to come to this conclusion a little over a week ago.. i was tired from work and didnt feel like going out so i decided to see what i could pick up about alex from his facebook..being a psychology major and all i thought i could learn a little more abt him from his profile.. pictures.. iunno i was just bored. pause.

...Rewind...
well u see a few months back one of the girls and i were talking about how weird it was that Alex never brought his gf around.. i mean they live in chandler but u would think that he would bring her to one of the date parties or something.. "are they even dating anymore?" "i dont know i heard from some of the boys that they've been together for a long time"

...fastforward about a month ago...

alex and i were talkin and he asked me if i knew of anyone who wanted to go to the crush party with him. my response.. well dont you have a girlfriend (his facebook said he was in a relationship with a girl named whitney) "no why?" i dont know..thats what your fb says. "ohh i just keep that there to keep away the ugly girls" i smiled politely and just shook my head. "it works tho"

...fastforward to me fb stalking him a about a week ago...

his status is no longer posted at all.. but whitney just left him a wall post saying how she misses him.. hmm that was a few days ago.. *click on her profile* all was blocked but her photos, 3 albums.. 1 album: family. 1 album: whitney and alex. 1 album: 2 year aniversary. *click on whitney and alex* hmm most recent update? december 20th 2009...
this is not ok... me n alex went on our 1st date.. (according to my xanga blog) on the 27th.. 1 week after she posted these pictures.. okay well maybe im just a rebound.. maybe they broke up and decided to be friends. i could live with that he's single thats what matters.

...Fastforward 1 more time to a  few days ago...

alex txt'd me @ work.. "hey im in tempe lets hang out" "sorry working for another 2hrs, how bout when im off?" "okay just call me" about an hr 45 min later alex txt'd me - "hey wats up?" once im off work i txt'd him back "hey just got off work" he says oh cool and i ask him what hes up to blah blah blah he says he'll come over to see me after he showers hes leaving his buddy's house in about 5 minutes. When he arived @ my apt he was wearing a button up shirt, polished shoes and had his hair done... he rarely does his hair. apparently he has to pick up his friend from the airport in about 2hrs. he kept referring to his friend as a "he".. sorry alex. im not buyin it. what boy dresses up like THAT to go pick up a "friend" from the airport.. i think i understand why they call you a man whore.. thanks for the free meal and free movie, good bye.


he hasnt called or txtd me since he left my apartment to pick his "friend" up from the airport.. this is the guy who txtd me almost every morning to see how i was.. i hope im wrong tho.. 2 yrs is a long time.. yes i hate girls.. but i dont think anyone deserves to be cheated on. ever.